Learning to say, “No”

Over Thanksgiving, my daughter was home from uni and she asked me to go somewhere and do/buy something. I don’t exactly recall where she wanted to go or what it was she wanted to do, but I remember my reply.

My reply was a big, loud (slightly hesitant) “No.”

Most of the time, she gets a “maybe”. And the maybe inevitably turns to “yes”.
“No” has not been my typical response in regards to my daughter. To my surprise, in the last 7 months or so, “No” has been popping up more frequently. It feels good to say, “No”.

What an empowering word, “No”. Women are socialized to be gracious and compliant and accommodating and quiet and accepting and all the other words that connote suffocation and suppression. Even to their children. 

Last month, I talked to a friend (who reached financial independence in her late 40’s) and she gave me stern advice to “close my wallet”. To paraphrase, she said, “it’s time for you to stop being nice and be the parent. You will never get ahead if you continue to put your kid in front of you. Yeah, your kid wins, but you will be the loser in the long run.” Gulp, those were tough words to hear. She is right and I needed to hear it.

And so it goes. Yet another thing I’m learning on this weird journey is the power of “No”. I’m not advising to go around saying, “No, No, No” like a 2 yr old, but if something isn’t serving you or won’t serve you in the future, then consider a “No”. You will be plenty surprised how easily your “No” will be accepted ( By most. It will make some people angry).

Actually, it sucks saying “No” to my daughter. It pains me a little, but she (we) are adjusting to our new normal. When I said, “No” to my daughter that night, I was pleased to hear this response…”living the life of former rich girls”.

Yes, we are. Yes, we are and I am stupid happy about it.

Paige

Published by Paige Hales

I’m a middle aged woman trying to live a life unfettered by ego, low vibes, power constructs and untenable social systems. Living authentically isn’t an easy path, but living on my own terms is my next foreseeable goal. Figuring out how to live my life in peace and do the things I love to do like read, write, travel, be frugal, be spiritual, make money and find joy in community, nature and the ocean. Join me on the notion that life is NOT what I DO. It’s who I AM!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

VAN LIFE BY DESIGN

Traveling to American Destinations

Simple Life Compass

Growth, Finances, Intentionality, Freedom, Happiness

The Graying Saver

A Mid-Life Journey to Financial Independence

Journey To Launch

Launching to Financial Independence & Helping Others Along The Way

Mr. Money Mustache

Early Retirement through Badassity

Root of Good

Retired in 2013 at age 33. Life is Good.